Just Recently I’ve had a new carpet put in my studio apartment. After moving the bed out of the area where it once stood I’ve never put it back because in reality I need a new bed. Why put a 10 year old broken box spring and bed on a brand new carpet anyway? In the mean time I’ve been crashing on my new carpet with only a pillow and a comforter. After 2 weeks of doing this new sleeping method I never felt better! My back and legs feel stronger and I wake up feeling more refreshed. Perhaps sleeping on the floor is better than my old worn out bed, or sleeping on the floor is better for my body altogether?

Wtf!, more than a month ago I’ve order two pair of glasses from the optical department at JC Penny’s. After a solid 10 working days I’ve finally received my 2 pairs of glasses. One pair was in perfect condition while the other pair was totally deformed with a broken hinge on the side. So the sales lady told me to keep that pair while she orders me a new one. She said when they arrive she’ll just put the lens from the broken frames into the new ones. Okay, after two weeks of waiting I finally decided to stop in to see if my new frames were ready. When I asked she stated that they were special edition frames so they’ll talk a little longer. Alright, after another two weeks and numerous phone calls, as of today I called the place again. She told me she couldn’t get into the computer at the moment, perhaps she was helping another customer? She told me she would call before the days over. It’s past 6pm and i haven’t heard from them yet. I want my money back!

Wow, I just did a people search on myself and discovered that a stupid webpage I designed years ago via a free hosting provider is still up and running. It was a little under 5 years ago today. Luckily i put the date on the footer: (Sept 15, 2005). I remember this specific provider let you insert HTML code in a box, or you could drop your files into a web based ftp client. The downside of it were a bunch of lousy ads and a few crazy popups. Anyway here is the link: Ranch Dressing for Peace. Don’t look too bad. I could only remember writing about this gibberish, kinda cracks me up seeing it again.

Ok, might as well copy and paste here it so wont be forever lost. …

Ranch Dressing for Peace.
We all know Ranch Dressing is delicious, so why doesn’t the US Government send large shipments over to the Iraqi people? The question may rise “what happens if the shipment is intercepted and falls into Taliban hands”? Actually this would be a good thing. If such an interception did occur, the Taliban would most likely be indulging in the great whole taste of premium ranch dressing rather than trying to bomb vulnerable targets. The US Government also should keep in mind to send quality ranch dressing abroad rather than the cheap generic store name brands we have all known to hate. Sure the Taliban might gain some weight and become lazy if they had a endless supply, but hey, isn’t that what we want? I believe the Iraqi people and the Taliban alike should be introduced to such a wonderful product. Who knows, even the infamous Bin Laden himself might even surrender to the wholesome taste of ranch dressing.

Of course, trading oil for this product can be dealt with as well. Ranch dressing does indeed cost more than oil by the gallon. A 16 once bottle of wishbone “my favorite” costs anywhere in the neighborhood of $3.00 to $4.00 dollars a bottle, opposed to the $3.00 dollars a gallon at the pump. Let’s face it; we are running out of oil ladies and gentlemen. Perhaps we could figure out a way how to power our vehicles on ranch dressing alone. If diluted with water and vegetable oil there may be some possibilities.

Call me a whatever you will. I think Jews are cool and often wonder if a Hollywood celebrity, politician, or famous athlete with a Jewish sounding name “or big nose” is a Jew or not. Low and behold my troubles are now over thanks to this awesome website: http://jewornotjew.com. I can now scratch Michael “Kramer” Richards, Ben Roethlisberger and Mark Wahlberg off my list as once thought to be Jews. Anyway, the website can easily be navigated and withholds a considerable amount of Jews and many Gentiles who look Jewish, or have that Jewish sounding name. Oh com’on and admit it, this is indeed one of the hidden enjoyments of Hollywood. After a few cocktails even ask Mel Gibson.